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Beauty Will Rise - Steven Curtis Chapman
My Testimony
The following is, I guess, what you could call a transcript of the testimony I gave in front of the congregation of Rockdale Community Church last October as part of the process of becoming a member there. I did not read it word for word when I stood in front of the church, but I did pretty much follow the flow of what I had written down beforehand which is now posted here.
Brian’s Testimony
Introduction:
I started out trying to think of things to say that sounded good. Things that you (Butch & congregation) would want to hear. I confess that I wanted to make sure that I used all the right buzz words and terminology: sovereignty of God, reformed, doctrines of grace, tulip, Calvin, Luther…”I will not recant!”, etc. I am a little bit ashamed that that was my initial mindset – trying to please you with my words here today. Please forgive me for that.
What I hope to do instead is to be true to my conscience and my God with what I say here. For, as Luther said, “To go against one’s conscience is neither right nor safe.” So, hopefully, what I say will be pleasing to you, but my main audience right now is the One who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light.
When was I saved?:
I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember. I had pretty much been taught the things of God from birth, really. I was (am) blessed to have two parents who love the Lord and cared enough to be involved with my Christian development at almost every step of the way. I have no specific year and date and time in my past that I can point to and say, “Yep. It was then! That’s when the lightning bolt struck and at that moment I got saved!” I had no Damascus Road experience where I can recall a clear distinction from living a life of rebellion to being transformed to a life of following Christ. I can’t recall having prayed ‘the’ prayer. I can’t remember a time in my life before I had faith in Christ. And I must say that that used to bother me somewhat, as I thought that maybe I should be able to pinpoint a specific point in time, until I heard John MacArthur and Ligon Duncan talk about the same kind of thing concerning themselves. My whole life has been spent in the church…I do not know what it even means to live a life that is not centrally focused there. I have no reference for that. What I do know, is that somewhere prior to or right around the age of nine, something changed within me – I believe now it was the Holy Spirit – quickening my heart, and I became aware of my sin and need for the Savior. So…
The result of this, I believe, was that I began asking questions, & my Mom & Dad sent me to talk with my Pastor, Dr. Howard Cobble. I met privately with Dr. Cobble (I have no recollection of the specifics of that meeting), and as a result, he determined that I was saved. So, the following Sunday morning I walked down to the front (by myself) during the invitation to be presented by Dr. Cobble as one who had professed faith in Christ alone for salvation, and as a candidate for baptism and membership. I was baptized the following Sunday evening.
I didn’t know much at the age of nine, and I understood even less…to be sure. But what I did know and understand was that I was a sinner, and there was no salvation without Jesus. I knew that He had lived a sinless life and died in my place, and that without trusting in Him there was no hope of heaven.
As I look back over my 39 years, I see the providential hand of a sovereign God, saving me at an early age, and giving me, even way back then, an awareness of and hatred for my sin. I thank God for granting in me what He commanded of me.
My Reformed Progression/Our Journey to RCC:
Around ’99, I began teaching an adult SS class at a big SBC church in Henry County that was/is non-reformed/seeker-sensitive/church-growth obsessed. We soon thereafter switched from using Lifeway quarterlies to going verse-by-verse through various books of the Bible. Everything was going fine until we hit a certain book. Before that, I was a happy, synergistic Arminian who was proud of his decision to accept Jesus and cooperate with God in his salvation. Until, that is…we started covering the letter of Paul to the Romans…and it was like scales falling off of my eyes! God used that study to teach a teacher…and I am so thankful that He did!
Then we covered the Gospel of John…and I could hardly contain myself as I taught through this incredible account of the God/man, Jesus Christ. Romans was good, and it was that study God used to open my eyes to seeing His true nature…but the study we did in John was a special one for me, as I began to really see the amazing truths of Christ’s deity, and even more of the sovereignty of God in salvation. By the end of the study in John I could hardly sit still or be quiet when it came to the Doctrines of Grace. You know how someone is when they have discovered something new and wonderful…you just gotta share it with everybody! Well, that didn’t go over too well considering the church we were in.
We then went from a study in John to a study in 1 Timothy…God’s blueprint for the church…of which ours was not following! It was like He had orchestrated this whole progression of specific verse-by-verse book studies just for us…first Romans, then John’s gospel, and then 1st Timothy! I knew by the end of the study in 1 Timothy that we were not only not where we needed to be, but that we were not where God wanted us to be. That was confirmed in March of ’05 when Pam and I went to the Ligonier National Conference and I had the chance to meet Mark Dever and try to justify to him our staying where we were. I tried to justify to Dever that we were okay where we were, because we were being salt and light within that church. Dr. Dever looked at me in the eyes and asked me if I had a family, and then asked me what I thought I should be doing in light of what kind of example I was being to them with respect to staying at a church that was in the state ours was in. That was all it took, and when we returned home we knew that our time there was short. So, we left our big, comfortable place that we had made for ourselves over the previous 7 years, and we began looking for a church with which we could identify…one that was not afraid to proclaim the truths of Scripture and let the chips fall where they may. And after a little under a year of searching, we began visiting RCC back in February. May I say that Pam and I have often wondered why God would have us spend so much time where we did, & then to experience what we did as we searched for a new church home. But, I think He orchestrated that journey specifically so that we could appreciate what we have found here at RCC that much more. It is also peculiar how God works sometimes. I had been given a CD of one of Butch’s sermons over a year and a half ago by a friend of mine who knew Keith Harris…who had given it to him. It is because of that one CD that we are here. And the irony is that now I am trying to get the one who gave me that CD to come here as well!
Looking back over the course of my life, I can see God’s providence at every step: blessing me with my Mom & Dad, bringing me to saving faith at an early age, opening my eyes to the truth of who He really is…and also in one other area…
Conclusion:
Pam and I had met in college down at Georgia State, but it was 6 years after that first meeting that God brought us together in a ‘chance’ meeting, and the rest, as they say, is history. God is most certainly a God of second chances, and He has definitely proven that with me in my life, and especially in blessing me with my incredible wife and four amazing children. I thank Him everyday for bringing me together with such a wonderful helpmate & friend who loves her Lord and desires to bring honor and glory to Him.
The more I grow spiritually as a disciple of Christ, the more aware I become of how unworthy I am to be in this place of worship. I often ask why. Why, Lord, have you chosen to bless me…why have you prepared me to be a vessel of mercy, and not a vessel of wrath? Why have you chosen to reveal to me the wonders of your glorious grace? All I can say is…Thanks be to God, that He has chosen to enlighten the eyes of my heart, so that I may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe!
And this table…coming to this table each week is a constant reminder of the person and work of Jesus, and what He did for me by taking my place before an angry God who demanded justice for my sin. It is a constant reminder that it is not I who live, but He that now lives in me.
I am not worthy to be a part of this body, or to be married to this incredible woman or to have this wonderful family consisting of Rachel, Joshua, Caleb and Nikolas. Many of you have already been involved with our children over the last 8 months as their teachers, and may I say to those specifically who have worked with Caleb and Nikolas, that I am truly sorry for your pain and suffering. For those here who have been entrusted with their care and instruction, you have our permission to use whatever force is necessary to bring them under submission. Seriously…not only do Pam and I seek accountability for ourselves, but we also ask that our children be held to a high standard when we are not around.
We feel so blessed that God would see fit to lead us here to such a wonderful gathering of brothers and sisters. And we look forward to growing with you all in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Nahomi Dhinakar said
“I can’t remember a time in my life before I had faith in Christ” pretty much sums up the way it happened in my life too.
nahomi
Chris Jackson said
I think we have a similar view of what the gospel is and isn’t!
healtheland said
Henry County, eh? We might be neighbors.
Tom said
What if the church organization, which is all you knew growing up, is not the real church of Jesus Christ? It’s scary to not have a defining moment, or at least a time period, where one repented, decided to change one’s mind and life. Jesus says we MUST be born again to enter in. Considering the current ineffectiveness and hypocrisies in mainstream denominational and non-denominational “church”, you might want to examine yourself to see if you be in the faith. I see a lot of the world on this site. He says we are to “Love NOT the world nor the things in the world. If we do, the love of the Father CANNOT be in us.
It is a narrow way.
http://www.jesuscult.org
Brian Thornton said
Gee, Tom…thanks for the encouraging words. FYI, I test myself constantly to see if I “be” in the faith, per Paul’s instructions.
I’m just a little bit curious, though. You say you see “a lot of the world on this site”…could you be specific, please? I am having a little trouble determining what part of the content on my site makes up “a lot” of the world.
Thanks.
Tom said
Jesus says that the “cares” of this life choke off the Word…Braves, Nascar, Bugs bunny…I know, we all have elements of the world that have been programmed into us, but we must be through with it and deny it to walk this out in these last days. “Gee, Tom…thanks for the encouraging words.” – really says, we’ve been taught in church to only be positive and not to say anything offensive. Meanwhile, Jesus just tells the truth and they (the religious hypocrites) sought to kill him right off the bat…Gee, Jesus thanks for the encouraging words?
The truth is that this whole thing about praying for rain is an abomination in the sight of the Living God. Sonny Perdue has the power in his right hand to enact a law to STOP every abortion in the state of Georgia immediately! He does NOTHING and then he has the gall to attempt to stand before the Most High and ask for favor.
This is the time to repent – not to be proud and offended because of the truth…America is being and will be judged for its abominations and “Christians” talk about being “proud Americans” and thankful for a “Christian” president and a “Christian” governor that invite Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Catholics to pray together as we all pray to the “same” God?
Brian Thornton said
Tom,
Your remarks clearly demonstrate that you do not know me at all, nor have you really read any of what I have written on this blog.
I had a feeling that the extent of your reply to my request of showing where my site has ‘a lot’ of the world would be so weak. Are looney tunes, nascar and the braves really the ‘cares’ of this world? For me they are not. Is your perception that those things are what this site is all about?
And where have I endorsed what Purdue did?
The first thing you do the very first time you post on my site is bring into question my salvation…which shows nothing but ignorance on your part of who I am or what I believe.
Do me and everyone else a favor and know what you are talking about before you make your ridiculous judgments.
Grace and peace.
Tom said
No Brian, I do not know you, and Jesus says to judge no man – but yet he says to judge a righteous judgment. This is how we are to judge – by the Spirit of God. For you, caring about the Braves is not “a care of this world”, but what does the Spirit of God say about it? We’ve got an awfully bad habit of seeing things “our” way and not His…This is why he says to not lean on our own understanding. This is also why we must be humble in order to accept correction when it comes…if we are not we will begin to make justifications in our own minds as to what “we” think God signs off on and we can be a million miles away from the truth.
It doesn’t matter about what I endorse or what I think about things…what does Jesus Christ say about it?
Brian Thornton said
I think your comments pretty well speak for themselves in giving those who read them a good understanding of you…so I’ll let them stand without a reply.
Brian Thornton said
…except for this one question that I just have to ask…
Can a person both watch the Braves play baseball AND go to heaven?
Just curious.
Tom said
What’s the difference between watching a baseball game and being an idolater of baseball?
Brian Thornton said
What’s the difference between surfing the internet and being an idolater of the internet?
William said
I find it hard to believe that you would call your old church seeker/sensitive. Just because you did not agree with them ,does not mean the name-calling begins. You may want to be careful with your words. God Bless!!!!!